Lazy

Still have not done anything.

Complacent.

I look at myself in the mirror... you know, right out of the shower standing there in front of it without hiding anything... and I am grossed out by what I see. I have really started putting on weight.

My friends say I am insane. That the weight I have put on since I quit smoking (again) looks good on me. That I was always too skinny and now I look healthy.

WELL, I do not feel healthy. I feel bloated. I have weighed between 135 and 155 pounds the majority of my life. Maybe being six feet tall does not help my lanky factor, but it is what I am use to. Weighing in now at 182 pounds, might still be within norms for my height, but it makes me feel ill. PLUS, I don't like the way it looks. Maybe if it was a little more dispersed over my body, but it seems to all be going to my midsection... I do not want to look pregnant or as though I have a beer drinking problem.

It just does not feel right.

BUT, have I done anything about it? NO.

The membership to the gym is nothing more than another card for my key ring.

Where is the motivation? That brief glance at myself in the mirror every morning should be enough for me to fast the next seven days and hit the gym like a manic Karen Carpenter.

Tomorrow is Sunday, the gym (advertised as OPEN 24 HOURS) is closed. So, Monday, I am going to get up at a decent hour and go hit the gym before work. I am going to try and go all five days, Monday through Friday and take the weekends off. At least do some intense cardio workouts just to burn off all these excess calories I am storing. AND, I need to start managing the intake valve a bit better!

Life's little curve balls... turn into our little butter-balls.