4 o'clock

If you ever sleep in this house and are woken up for whatever reason, look at the clock. I am willing to lay money on the fact that it will read somewhere in the area of 4:00am.

This morning I was jolted out of sleep because my partner was sitting up in bed screaming as he pointed up to the corner above the door. In that corner is a small altar to Kwan Yin or the Bodhisattva of Compassion. On it are two statues of her and a few Guardian statues. Every night I light two tea lights and place them within these beautiful metal and glass lanterns that Kevin bought me for my birthday. It creates a beautiful scene and is a soft night light as we sleep.

It took me several minutes to figure out what was going on. Apparently the fire alarm was going off and it scared the piss out of him. The wick on one of the tea lights had apparently gunked up and broken off causing a bigger flame that started melting the plastic container in which it sat. That caused smoke. To Kevin, without his glasses on and being startled out of a deep sleep, it appeared that the house was on fire. It took almost an hour to calm him down and get him back to sleep.

I on the other hand, well, here I sit. His screaming was crazed, like something you would hear in a horror or gore film. It really bothered me... I have never seen him like that. He was paralysed with fear. I know that feeling and feel bad for him, but I don't know what to do...

So, I am wide awake. Listening to the rain while I sit in the cold darkness of the living room knowing that I will probably never go to sleep to my lit altar of Kwan Yin again.